First Bar Fight without a Saxophone

As more students arrived at our residences this past weekend, my friends and I were eager to meet all the “new” people.  We never verbally discussed that we wanted to start our classes with good relationships already established, but I could feel that everyone had the same thoughts I did.  Every time we saw someone even slightly resembling a student, we ambushed them, introducing ourselves in French first, then in English, offering help finding rooms, etc.  My roommate came, and it was nice to share this huge room with someone else.

On Thursday night, after most of the students were settled in, a group of 11 of us decided to go out to dinner since none of the new people really had groceries.  It was 9pm, so it took a little bit of walking around the city before we could find a place that was open (except all of the Pizzarias – they never seem to close!).  We finally found a little open-air bistro (you know…the kind with the tables on the sidewalk outside of the restaurant?) and they gladly seated all 11 of us outside for dinner.

After getting situated, I noticed two very drunk French men (in their late 30’s, I would guess) in the corner across from us.  After not too long, they started calling to the women in our group in French and English.  They said things like, “Hello, Darrrrrrling” and “A kiss from my baby?  Give me a kiss, my baby” and “My English is pas good, mais…mais c’est pas grave (My English isn’t good, but…but it doesn’t matter).”  We ignored them, figuring they would stop eventually.  It was pretty funny, and all I could do not to snicker.

Those same men, in their drunken state, started picking flowers out of the flower beds surrounding the seating area of the bistro and wearing them behind their ears and making bouquets (presumably for us).  After a few minutes of this, the owner came out and asked them to stop picking the flowers.  He said that the flowers helped attract business, and the men were messing them up.  When the men didn’t stop, he got upset and asked them to leave.  One of the guys was a little mad and tried to fight the owner, but realized that it was a bad idea, so he gave up and left.  That little scuffle was just a little pushing and shouting.  The other guy, though, had a very, “never mess with my man” attitude, and was completely wasted.  He started the real fight.

It was intense!  The cook came outside and helped the owner fight the drunkard.  It was all slapping, no punching, and the second man came back to get in the action.  The angry dudes flipped tables and kicked chairs into the street, breaking glasses and ask trays.  Cars swerved around the chairs and men without slowing, as if this was a common sight.  The whole time we’re sitting just feet away, trying not to laugh, and I was quietly translating for the girl sitting next to me (my roomie).  I was so glad I wasn’t wearing flip-flops, as bits of glass were bouncing everywhere and I was on the end of the table.

The fight was always pretty close to the 3 of us on the end of our long table, but nothing ever hit us, because the cook was mindful of our table, and he protected us.  The owner even maced the drunkest guy, but he was so gone that he was completely un-phased.  He kept running back to the store yelling (in French), “That $#*! you have does nothing!  It does nothing!  I am calm!  …  Look at me!  I am COMPLETELY calm!  That does nothing!”

The cops finally came and took him away.

The entire fight (lasting 20 minutes or so) was pretty intense, but my favorite part came right after everything was quiet again:

The cook (who had done most of the fighting) hardly spoke any English. He came out to our table a couple minutes after everything settled down and mumbled a "Sorry, sorry." motioning to the area where it all went down. Then, he turned back to us and said slowly, "d'you enjoy da show?" and smiled.

At least he had a sense of humor about it.

As far as we students were concerned:  We couldn’t have asked for a better ice breaker to start off the trip, and we got a free show with dinner.  Life is good.